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Health & Fitness

Quirk Out: Excessive Heat Warning Edition

With temperatures in the upper 90′s and a heat index in the can't-even-think-about-it range, it's difficult to function during this heat wave as a productive and decent member of society.

Forget the news reporters actually trying to fry an egg on the sidewalk… heat this extraordinary calls for more practical, drastic measures.

So in the true Quirk Out spirit of “do what you have to do to make it through the day,” we offer the following copies strategies and other very real HEAT ADVISORIES.

We advise you:

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1. Do not pay extra for hot yoga. Simply get out of the swimming pool and squirm your way out of a wet one-piece. Guaranteed you’ll contort your body in ways you’ve only seen yoga masters on the DVDs achieve.

2. Embrace the humidity’s effect on your hair and makeup. Tell everyone you’re going for the Helena Bonham Carter circa Harry Potter movies look.

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3. Go see a movie! Just remember that when it’s this hot outside, they keep the theaters very cold. Don’t forget to bring along your snuggie and a pair of socks.

4. Keep a chilled water bottle, deodorant and Skinny Girl Margaritas in your purse at all times.

5. Stay off the ferris wheels. When the temperature is over 90 degrees, it becomes a people rotisserie.

Or, just give in. Build an indoor igloo.  Good luck.

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