Words Really DO Hurt!

“Sticks and stones may break my bones

But words could never hurt me.”

This phrase brings back memories of my days on the playground.  One very vivid memory is of a time when I was on the jungle gym with my best friend, Kelly.  A classmate approached us to say some hurtful things about Kelly and the way she was dressed. I was outraged and hurt for my best friend and the words above are the first words that came to mind. I shouted these from my perch high atop the jungle gym, but the boy who had said the hurtful comments to Kelly just laughed and ran off with his friends. He had done what he set out to do.

Although Kelly never showed it at the time, years later (many years later) she confessed to me how much it hurt when our classmates would make fun of her clothes—many of which were hand-me-downs from older cousins.

Here is another take on this childhood phrase that I think best sums up the reality of what happens when people say hurtful words to one another.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones

But words could never hurt me.”

And this I knew was surely true

And truth could not desert me.

But now I know it is not so.

I’ve changed the latter part;

For sticks and stones may break the bones

But words can break the heart

Sticks and stones may break the bones

But leave the spirit whole,

But simple words can break the heart

Or silence crush the soul.

Herb Warren

When I first read this poem, the words made me pause and think. How many times in my life have I been hurt by someone’s words, a look or a rebuff?

I wish I could say I am never bothered, hurt or offended when this happens to me, but the reality is that whether I am that eight-year-old girl on the playground or the adult in the principal’s office, it really does hurt.

It would be wonderful to live in a world without bullying, put-downs or isolation, but this seems unlikely—at least in my lifetime. In the meantime, I am excited to work with a group of adolescents who recognize this as an issue they want to confront, and are willing to take steps to make a difference.

On Thursday, I will be meeting with the students of Northeast Middle School’s Zero Conflict. These students have all made a commitment to make Northeast Middle School a school where acts of kindness become more prevalent than acts of hatred and bullying.

If your child shares that he/she is being bullied—or if you suspect this is happening—please communicate with your child’s teachers, counselor or administrator. We want all students to feel safe at Northeast.

As always, thank you for your support!

Kim Brandon