Hoop-La!: An Early Season Lesson On Managing Expectations

Manage expectations. As moms we do this a lot. Overwhelmingly, we want our family to feel happy, successful and loved. So we discuss holiday budgets and kitchen renovations with our spouse...before the bills come in. We tell our teenager that grandma is coming to dinner on Friday...before they make plans for that night.

In a crazy, busy world of multi-tasking and multiple schedules, mentally preparing for the future gives us a feeling of control. It helps us prioritize, compartmentalize and be ready for whatever life throws our way. It seems like a good tool. Except, of course, when it doesn’t work!

Case in point...despite being ranked #1 in high school boys’ basketball AND getting two earlier wins in this week’s tournament AND having a clear height advantage over the opponent, the Spartans to the . Wait! This was not what we expected! Clearly, managing expectations doesn’t work well in sports (thankfully, La Russa and the St. Louis Cardinals had already learned this!). Sure, it’s great when you expected to win and you do and even better when you win after expecting to lose. But it sure is tough to lose when you fully expected to win.

We’re moms…so after walking around a little dazed on the court after the game, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the gym and even trying to blame the officials (because after all, we are human!), we thought about the lesson behind the loss…it’s more than a game plan for basketball, it’s about not setting expectations in life where they don’t belong. It’s about not counting a win before the game is played. It’s about living in the present. This is a good reminder how to go through the rest of the season...excited and proud to watch our children compete at each and every game. We would be better served by expecting ourselves to be the best cheerleaders for these young players, rather than expecting them to be the best team.  

So this year our kids can still expect pre-game dinners, our parents can still expect team socials and our coaches can expect plenty of cheering behind the bench, but as far as winning and losing...those are expectations a mom just can’t control!

Lynne Moeller and Meg Berry